Episode 43: The Despair of Motherless Susanoo

[Prologue] A Solitary Shadow Amidst the Waves

The world was being battered by a cold rain.

From a sky stagnant with the color of lead, countless raindrops poured down, relentlessly striking the desolate surface of the sea.

In the freezing shallows of that ocean, a single, massive shadow—like a rocky mountain—sat submerged, perfectly still.

It was Takehaya Susanoo-no-Mikoto.

The gaze of this mighty god, who held dominion over the forces of nature, was not fixed on the raging sea, but on a rocky outcrop just by the shore.

There, as if to ward off the fierce wind and rain, a single seabird spread its wings to their absolute limit, desperately shielding its tiny chicks beneath them.

Though the parent bird was entirely drenched by the mercilessly freezing rain, it made no attempt to flee.

Simply to share even a fraction of its body heat, it held onto its young with single-minded devotion, continuing to provide them with warmth.

"...There it is again."

A bitter murmur, crawling low along the earth, escaped Susanoo's thick lips.

When he turned his gaze offshore, he saw a giant mother whale in the rough waves swimming close to her calf, whose swimming was still clumsy, shielding it and guiding it through the currents.

When he looked to the deep forests on the land, he saw beasts huddling together in the depths of caves, parents affectionately licking their young.

Every single life that existed in this world had an absolute presence that brought them into this realm and protected them at the risk of their own lives—a "Mother."

Even the most insignificant, tiny insect inherited the warmth of life from parent to child.

Yet, only he, a god granted unimaginable power to rule this vast ocean, fundamentally lacked that "warmth."

Despite being an absolute being, a god, he harbored a primal loneliness deeper than any life in the world.

Amidst the silence broken only by the sound of the rain, a cold sea breeze blew into the gaping, giant hole in Susanoo's heart.

[Chapter 1] A Life Spilled from Defilement

Susanoo stared at his own thick, rugged hands floating amidst the waves.

He deeply, curse-inducingly hated the circumstances of the birth of the Three Noble Children (Amaterasu, Tsukuyomi, and Susanoo).

They were not brought into the world as the crystallization of love.

They were born when their father, Izanagi, having fled from the land of the dead, Yomi, washed his face in a river to cleanse his heavily defiled body.

From the water that washed the left eye was born the dazzlingly noble sister, Amaterasu Omikami, like the sun itself.

From the water that washed the right eye was born the silent, mystical brother, Tsukuyomi-no-Mikoto, like the moon.

And he himself was born like mud from the water that dripped down when his father washed his "nose."
(Was I born from the dregs that washed away the "terror of death" and "hideous defilement" that Father saw in the Underworld?)

In Susanoo's heart, a dark, cold inferiority complex swirled like sludge.

Because of their beauty and nobility, his sister and brother were deeply favored by their father and were granted the shining heavenly realm and the tranquil night sky.

However, Susanoo, who was the most temperamental, retained a strong scent of defilement, and could not control his emotions, was driven away to this boundless, dark ocean—as if being disposed of as a nuisance.

His father's words, "Rule the ocean," were nothing but a declaration of rejection to Susanoo, meaning, "Go to the frontiers where my eyes cannot see you."

The sea, where light did not reach and bottomless darkness spread, was like a mirror reflecting his ruined heart.

He would forcefully whip up the waves, but after the waves crashed and shattered, all that remained was an even deeper sense of emptiness.

[Chapter 2] The Forbidden Name

"Father... why do I not have a mother?"

Once, unable to endure the crushing loneliness, Susanoo had asked Izanagi this question.

In that moment, what appeared on the face of the great father, the creator of the world, was not the affection of a parent comforting a child.

It was a "terrifying dread" that made cold sweat burst from every pore, and a violent "rejection."

"Do not speak that name!!"

Izanagi's face drained of color; pointing at Susanoo with a trembling hand, he shouted in a semi-frenzied state.

The great goddess Izanami—the former wife his father absolutely refused to speak of, the one who had created this world alongside him.

She was now said to be sealed away in the deepest recesses of Ne-no-Katasu-Kuni (the Underworld), the eternal realm of the dead.

The more his father feared, loathed, and rejected her with his entire being, never wanting to remember her, the more the existence of "Izanami" swelled within Susanoo into something mystical and absolute.

(Father abandoned Mother. Even though they loved each other enough to create the world together, the moment his beautiful wife was tainted by the defilement of death and transformed into a hideous figure, he was terrified, locked her in the depths of darkness, and ran away!)

Contempt for his father and intense sympathy for his mother.

The common ground of being "hated and pushed away as something defiled" created a thick, strong, invisible bond in Susanoo's heart with the mother he had never even met.

[Chapter 3] The Perfect Illusion

He had never met her once.

Susanoo did not know her face, her voice, or what kind of warmth she possessed.

Even so—no, because of that—the concept of "Mother" took shape in Susanoo's heart as an absolute savior devoid of any flaws.

(If Mother were here, she would not call me a child born of defiled snot. She would not compare me to my sister or brother.)

(If Mother were here, she would not leave me all alone in this cold, lonely sea. In her warm, soft arms, she would hold me with all her might.)

(She is not like Father, who fears and distances me, nor like Sister, who is too dazzling to approach. Only Mother would not fear my wild nature; she would surely love me entirely!)

The overly pure yearning of a child starved for affection eventually birthed a self-serving illusion of a "perfect mother," transforming into a maddened obsession to cling to that phantom.

In his eyes, governing the ocean he had been entrusted with no longer held any value.

No matter how rich he made the sea, no matter how many fish he nurtured, the mother who would praise him for it was not here.

His heart had been entirely captured by the unreachable darkness of the underground—the world of the dead where his mother resided.

While his body remained in the world of the living, half of his soul had already fallen into Yomi.

[Chapter 4] A Withering World and Lamentation

"Mother... Oh, Mother...!! I want to see you... I want to see you so badly!!"

Amidst the violently driving rain, Susanoo buried his face in the gravel of the beach and, like a toddler throwing a tantrum, clutched his head with both hands and began to openly weep and scream.

However, he was not human.

He was a mighty, wild god embodying the fury of nature itself.

The tears he shed were not merely an expression of sorrow.

They became a lamentation of a "curse" that would destroy the world, laden with the endless despair and grief of a raging god, and began to wreak physical destruction.

"WAAAAHHHH!! AAAAAAAHHH!!"

Every time he screamed, threatening to tear his throat, his massive divine aura ran rampant as a black miasma, continuously uprooting the life force of nature.

The surrounding mountains, which had been lush and green for the summer, instantly lost their moisture the moment they were hit by the waves of his sorrow.

They turned brown and completely withered, causing the catastrophic disaster known in myth as "withering the green mountains."

That was not all.

Every time his tears fell to the ground, the earth cracked as if stricken by a fever, and the abundant waters of the rivers and seas evaporated with a sizzling hiss.

The earth, meant to nurture life, was covered in the ash of death.

Beasts and birds that failed to flee collapsed and died one after another, clawing at their throats as if plagued by an invisible epidemic.

His overly pure thirst for love, ironically, raged like an evil spirit bringing ruin to the world.

Susanoo himself was aware that his sorrow was beginning to physically destroy the world.

Yet, he could not stop crying. The agony blowing bottomlessly from the giant hole of emptiness in his heart far surpassed any reason.

[Chapter 5] A Frenzy for Ne-no-Katasu-Kuni

"I don't care what happens to this world...! A world of light holds absolutely no meaning for me!"

With his back to the withered mountains, looking down at the drying sea, Susanoo shed tears mixed with blood and howled into the void.

No matter how beautiful the world was, no matter how harmonious, without the "Mother" who would accept him, it was nothing more than an empty sandbox.

Crying, screaming, and cruelly withering the world, Susanoo's madness finally solidified into a single, clear, and unwavering resolve.

"I shall rule the sea no longer. I am going. No matter how much Father fears it, no matter how angry Sister gets... I will go to Ne-no-Katasu-Kuni where my mother waits!!"

It was a declaration of total rebellion against his father Izanagi's decision.

To abandon his divine duties and head to the land of the dead was a taboo choice.

Because of this reckless action, a definitive clash with his father Izanagi, who valued the order of the heavenly realm, and his sister Amaterasu, who was desperately enduring the heavy burden of "illuminating the world," was now absolutely unavoidable.

A god who destroys the world out of an excessive desire for love.

His endless despair was merely the run-up to the greatest storm of the Age of the Gods, one that would soon dye the white clouds of Takamagahara pitch black.

The wild god's lamentation echoing on the beach was comforted by no one, leaving behind only an ominous reverberation that continued to shake the heavens and the earth.

(KAMIYO Episode 43: The Despair of Motherless Susanoo - End)

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